That’s tough - I can completely relate.  I live in a state below the Mason Dixon Line where my marriage to my fiance will not be recognized until it is a federally accepted institution (which hopefully will be sooner than later!), but even then, I’ll be walking around with my family with prejudicial stares coming at me left and right from the society around me.  With my job being here, I am unable to leave, otherwise I would.  As far as living in the Bible Belt though - do you have any areas nearby (or even relatively close in driving distance) that is gay-friendly?  Even where I live, if I travel half an hour, I can arrive in an area that is very gay friendly.  Or if I drive an hour and a half the other way, I can find another one.  So first, I would say seek out the areas that are gay friendly near where you live.  Second, no one needs to broadcast all over the place that they are gay or straight, no matter where you live or where you hang out.  It’s your business.  If people put you in a position where they are making you “come out” or be subjected to a spotlight, then that’s a situation you should find your way out of fast.  No one needs to pressure you into broadcasting your lifestyle.  Just be you - not a gay person, not a straight person, not a white person or a nerd or a sinner or a do-gooder - just be you.  No one should ever make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin if you’re just living your life. :)

Was your mom’s reaction a negative one when she found the messages between you and the girl you were dating?  If so, then maybe you need to have a talk with your mom to tell her this the person you are, you can’t change, and you don’t want to.  I can tell you right now though that your mom most likely knew it wasn’t “just how teens talk” - parents are very aware of their children and when they lie or try to push the issue aside.  However, at the same time, parents believe their children when they are adamant about their behavior.  

My suggestion - talk with your mom, face to face, and tell her this isn’t just a “phase”.  If you’re open with her and communicate with her, I’m hoping she will be receptive and embraceable towards you.

Truthfully, I knew I was a lesbian long before I actually accepted it.  I was naturally drawn to girls much more than boys, but I dated boys, and even tried having sex with them, to convince myself I wasn’t a lesbian.  Finally though, I accepted the inevitable, and tried dating a girl.  WOW!!  What a difference!!!!  I found myself understanding what people meant by “passion” and “desire”, feelings I never associated with boys and how I felt about them.  If you’re curious about dating girls, then you need to be honest with yourself, and with your boyfriend.  Maybe you should try dating a girl to see where it goes, but not without first telling your boyfriend and letting him know of your curiosity.  Honesty and communication is the key to making this work.  I remember the conversation I had with my last boyfriend before I started dating girls.  He was very understanding and comforting, and appreciated that I was open and honest with him.  You owe the same to your boyfriend now.  If you want to try dating girls, by all means, go for it.  But make sure to do it with pride and dignity.